After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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