Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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