Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
