I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
