The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
