I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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