how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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