We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
