i want to swaddle you in tequila
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
