the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
