You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
