I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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