omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
ttyl tear gas
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i out mim tonsoeep
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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