It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
