it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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