By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
