I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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