I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
