I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
