Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
