my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
