ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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