We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize