just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I need to calm my uterus...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
