somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
