There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
