i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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