no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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