That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
