based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I need moral support for this bender
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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