Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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