you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
