i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
