Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
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