so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
