ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
