Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
