quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
