Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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