I must be too annoying 4 u.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
