I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
