i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Mom said you looked used
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
