We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
