its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
