she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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