I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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