Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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