just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
