I'm drive I can fine osifer
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
