Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
